introduction: in comedy nobody can hear you scream -- Welcome to me -- OCD and me -- A sense of humor -- Yuk Yuk's -- I will support her with a rubber glove -- A dramatic turn of events -- Uh oh -- Howie Lou's a friend -- Another day at the orifice -- The litmus test -- The five-mile radius -- Uh oh, it's worse -- Shit happens -- Stand-up and be counted -- Here's the deal -- Epilogue: goodbye.

A frank, funny, no-holds-barred memoir that reveals the Deal or No Deal host's ongoing struggle with OCD and ADHD--and how it has shaped his life and career.